Lynn can’t be with us today, but Tasha is still here, and her recaps are always funny and informative!

Tonight was very stressful because the Giants’ game went into overtime, which means my mom INSISTED on watching American Idol even though Downton was on AT THE SAME TIME. As if American Idol can possibly compete against Downton. Whatevs. It’s so annoying when football interferes with anything, but most especially Downton Abbey. Grr. In other news, I hope Branson and Sybil get together in this ep. I confess I have a weakness for chauffeur/rich girl plotlines.

It’s 1918. Time moves fast in the Downton Abbey world! The Abbey’s still a hospital and Mary hates keeping people’s spirits up, totally unsurprisingly. She can barely keep her own spirits up, how can she be expected to give what little reserves of cheerfulness and hope she has out to others? Meanwhile, Lady Grantham has taken control of Downton by being passive-aggressive, ignoring Mrs. Crawley whenever she’s in the room and changing her timetable when she’s not around. Mwahahahaha.

Cora ignoring Isobel ©Downton Online

“It would be too much to accuse you of being unprofessional, since you have never had a profession in your life,” Mrs. Crawley tells her. Oh snap! Now we finally know where Matthew got that self-righteous streak from. Mrs. Crawley threatens to leave–several times–and Lady Grantham tells her not to let the door hit her in the arse on the way out. Fine then! She’s joining the Red Cross! And no one appreciates her. *sadface*

Lady Violet suspects Sybil’s in love with someone inappropriate. She has the instincts of a bloodhound, I swear to god. The Home Office should employ her as a spy. Are her and my grandmother related?

Violet questioning Mary ©Downton Online

In point of fact, Branson has apparently gotten over his moodiness and is back in love with Sybil despite their difference in stations. “I’ll stay at Downton until you want to run away with me… You’re in love with me, you’re just too scared to admit it,” he declares. Branson gets all the best lines.

Sybil and Branson ©Downton Online

Sir Richard has written to Lord Grantham asking for Mary’s hand in marriage, despite the fact that he’s been refused. What is with the passive aggressive asshole behavior in this episode? Mary thinks she should marry him, because he wants to buy her a proper house. Well la di da, Mary! I think you missed a lesson in the How To Live class, girl. But at least her dress is very nice! Just bordering on flapperish. She’s filling Matthew in on all the family gossip via post. Matthew is of course in France, with William! I forgot William was there. He talks a lot.

Some things never change, namely O’Brien and Thomas plotting. Thomas can’t help but notice Lord Grantham has no valet. But he’s not a footman anymore, is he, so he can’t fill the void… so to speak. Too bad!

Thomas and O'Brien plotting...as usual ©Downton Online

Meanwhile, the Crawley’s servants are depressed, since they no longer have anyone to serve. Moseley’s so bored he’s volunteering at Downton. A beggar comes around the Crawley house asking for food. He’s quite cute for a beggar. This gives Mrs. Bird the idea to start a soup kitchen for soldiers, since she’s so bored.

France! Matthew’s on patrol with William. They’re getting shot at! My mom is upset Matthew’s wearing a rain coat, I don’t know why. They disappear! Or at least William’s disappeared, which is odd. Lord Grantham FINALLY gets a phone call that William and Matthew are MIA. Cheerful as always, O’Brien reminds the staff that this means they might be dead. THANKS.

Rumor has it Mr. Bates is working in a public house. Not that kind of public house, get your mind out of the gutter. Thomas had it in a letter, I don’t know why, and Daisy read it and then she told Mr. Carson, who told Lord Grantham. Does Anna know?!? Grantham is slightly disappointed that she does, but on the plus side this means she can pass along more gossip.

In Downton’s kitchen, O’Brien wants to borrow bacon. Why, does she want to perform voodoo with it? She happens to hear about Mrs. Patmore’s “special storage area,” which is where she and Daisy are keeping extra food for Mrs. Bird’s soup kitchen. O’Brien smells a rat, and blabs about it to the housekeeper, who doesn’t care. She’ll find someone who does care if it’s the last thing she does!!!

The hungry veteran ©Downton Online

While O’Brien’s plotting, the gentry are dining. Lady Violet is still worrying over Sybil’s upper-class purity and starts off a most awkward dinner conversation gambit with, “So, Sybil, what are you up to, dear?” Sybil: “I’m not up to anything!” Doesn’t Lady Violet know one of the sure ways to get a young woman to do something is to warn her again it? Or him, rather.

Ethel (the maid) is also doing someone she shouldn’t do: the Major! The housekeeper catches them in flagrante delicto in Ethel’s room! What. An idiot. They could at least have gone at it outside the house. Ethel’s let go without a reference and hopefully not preggers.

Ethel and Major Bryant ©Downton Online

Lord Grantham has traveled to Yorkshire to beg for Mr. Bates’ return. It went something like this: “Mr. Bates, this show isn’t half as interesting without you! We need your mysterious yet noble presence. You also need to shave.” Actually, what happens is he tells Bates Matthew and William are missing. Mr. Bates to the rescue! He will use his mysterious powers and war connections to bring honor back to the earldom, and return Matthew to Downton. *angels singing*

Back at Downton, after the awkward dinner, Mary feels the need to console Sybil that Granny’s just being Granny and she shouldn’t be so upset about it, which leads to Sybil finally confessing to Mary that there IS something between her and Branson. But they haven’t kissed or anything! Mary is HORRIFIED. “What did you think, you’d marry the chauffeur and we’d all come to tea?” What a bitch she is sometimes. Hey, she sounds exactly her aunt. Mary makes Sybil promise not to do anything stupid, not that she has any room to talk. *coughTurkishdiplomatcough* I’m disappointed that Sybil neglected her duty as a younger sibling to point out the irony of this.

Mr. Bates is back to save us all from WWI. I’m sure he will be the key to ending hostilities, and finding Matthew. In the meantime he’s doing a fine job of sneering at Thomas. Everyone is happy to see Bates except Mr. Moseley, who was hoping to be the next valet to the earl; and O’Brien, who takes a moment to threaten Bates with the ominous warning that Thomas is in charge. WHAT IS HER PROBLEM?

Back to the days of Sybil and Branson’s lives… Branson looks very handsome in his chauffeur’s uniform when Sybil comes by to tell him she told Mary about them, even though there IS no “them.” How many times does she have to say that?! He insults her job, which loses him some points, but he gets them back by saying it just comes down to whether or not Sybil loves him. He’s a dreamer, our Branson. I’m actually not sure she’s that into you, dude; this could end really badly. Anna and Bates are also having a romantic interlude. L’amour!

Lady Grantham finds out about Mrs. Bird and Mrs. Patmore’s soup kitchen. From O’Brien, of course. O’Brien and Her Ladyship are roped into service.

Mrs. Hughes gets Thomas’ boss to give him a dressing-down for rudeness. But O’Brien thinks it was Bates, and she’s plotting something to get rid of him. Again, one has to wonder what her problem is. Does she think Lang will be re-employed if Bates goes? Not likely.

Finally everyone knows about Matthew being MIA. Edith told Mary and Lord Grantham told Lady Grantham. Mary’s having a little spaz, but Lord Grantham gives them the “Keep Calm and Carry On” speech, and they all go down for a concert. Mary and Edith are performing! Is Mary going to cry while singing a touching a song? “If you were the only girl in the world, and I were the only boy…” Sing along!

Mary is shocked ©Downton Online

WAIT! IT’S MATTHEW! HE’S ALIVE! Oh, we never knew how much we liked you until we thought you were dead, Matthew. And now he’s singing too! This is like Downton Abbey: The Musical! Matthew can actually sing, that’s amazing. I want a musical episode NOW, Julian Fellowes!!!! I think my mom’s actually starting to get into this show; she wandered in to find out why they were singing.

Matthew is safe ©Downton Online

Afterward, Matthew explains his disappearance was just stupid army bureaucracy, more or less. He confesses to Mary that war is starting to seem more real to him than Downton, which is not a good sign. Then they exchange uncomfortably intense “You take care of yourself,” wishes and part. Yes. YOU TAKE OF YOURSELF, OKAY???? *STARE*

Meanwhile, Anna and Bates are making zee plans, and Thomas and O’Brien are making zee plans to ruin their plans, whatever they happen to be. Thomas and O’Brien are like nega-Anna and Bates.

Ethel has returned begging for forgiveness. She is pregnant. Naturally! Mrs. Hughes better get her gun so she can force the Major to marry her.

Anna and Bates ©Downton Online

Annnnd that’s the end. That was a pretty good episode. It was all about zee lurrve, which naturally I enjoy; and Bates came back, even though he wasn’t in the show that much. The scene with Dan Stevens and Michelle Dockery (Matthew and Mary) singing together was priceless. I hope that gets posted on YouTube. Stay tuned for next week when Matthew gets blown up, Vampy Vera returns to ruin Mary’s reputation, and Bates ends the war. Keep calm and carry on!

Soldiers' Concert at Downton Abbey © Downton Online

Music has always been an expression not only of emotion, but of popular culture, and the outbreak of WWI was no small inspiration for the many songwriters, lyricists and musicians, as well as the soldiers themselves. Though patriotism and morale remained a key topic for songs throughout the war and beyond, they also revealed the particular mood of the time from which they derive. From the patriotic “Keep the Home Fires Burning” to the enthusiastic strains of “It’s a Long Way to Tipperary” to the satirical “Oh, What a Lovely War!”, soldiers in the trenches and the people waiting for them back home used music to shape and mold the reactions to the brutality and tragedy–and inspiration–of war.

In tonight’s episode of Downton Abbey, Mary, accompanied at the piano by her sister Edith, uses the sentimental song, “If You Were the Only Girl (In the World)” to subtle express her sorrow and longing for Matthew. Written in 1916 by Nat D. Ayer with lyrics by Clifford Grey, the song evidently became a very popular wartime tune, as it is referenced in quite a few books written during WWI:

Ninety-Six Hours’ Leave by Stephen McKenna

THE Semiramis orchestra was beginning to play a second encore, when the girl in the white dress appeared at the top of the steps. “If you were the only girl in the world and I were the only boy,” she hummed to herself, as she came down into the lounge. The orchestra was unaffectedly bored with the song; it had been played once at luncheon, twice at tea, and now this was the fourth time since seven o’clock. Prince Christoforo, however, did not share their boredom; it was at his request that they were giving the encore.

Suddenly the Prince left his seat and approached the girl in white.

“If you’re looking for a chair,” he said, “there are four unoccupied ones over there.”

The girl turned at sound of his voice, still gravely nodding time to the music.

“‘ If I were the only girl in the world . . .’”

“And I were the only boy,” he answered, with a smile.

“I should like to dance, only I suppose people would stare.”

Edith at the piano © Downton Online

The Queen of Psalissa by George A. Birmingham

The king’s faith was very touching; but Gorman still maintains that he was not far wrong about Mme. Ypsilante’s feelings. She might not actually have preferred Konrad Karl’s death; but it is certain that she did not want to see him married to Miss Donovan.

The king drew a last mouthful of smoke from his cigar and then flung the end of it into the sea.

“Gorman, what is it that one of your great English poets has so beautifully said? ‘If you were the only girl in the world, and I were the only boy!’—that is Corinne and me. ‘A garden of Eden just made for two ‘—that is Paris. I have always admired the English poets. It is so true, what they say!”

Way of Revelation:a Novel of Five Years by Wilfrid Ewart

Rosemary Meynell went across to the bureau, unlocked the small drawer as before, and took from it the Louis Quatorze snuff-box. This she handed to Upton.

“Thank you,” he said with a disagreeable smile; “but these little things aren’t given up quite so easily as all that, you know. However, if you want any more . . . pleased to oblige at any time!”

Silence followed, during which the girl gazed steadily in front of her with an expression of fine contempt. The meanness of the man’s soul had never revealed itself as now!

Upton began to hum the words of a popular revue air, tapping in time to it with his foot.

“If you were the only girl in the world
And I …”

“Well, the rest doesn’t matter,” he broke off. “You’re not, you see,”

The Things We Are by John Middleton Murry

He fed in a first floor tea-room full of Sunday couples who had reached the stage of sentimental silence. It was strange, he thought, how their attitudes ran to type. The man leaned back on the red plush seat that ran round the wall; the woman leaned her head on his shoulder. She was always on his right, and her right hand was always fingering his sleeve, his watch-chain or his coat lapel. Even the fair-haired man in pince-nez who was solemnly vamping out “If you were the only girl in the world” on the reluctant piano submitted to the ritual. A girl in pink, with a wad of black hair low down on her pasty neck, had flung her arm round his shoulder and was perched insecurely on all that remained of the stool.

Mary singing © Downton Online

There was even a gory adaptation of the song entitled “If you were the only Boche in the Trench”
Tune: “If you were the only Girl in the World.”

If you were the only Boche in the trench,
And I had the only bomb,
Nothing else would matter in the world that day,
I would blow you up into eternity.
Chamber of Horrors, just made for two,
With nothing to spoil our fun;
There would be such a heap of things to do,
I should get your rifle and bayonet too,
If you were the only Boche in the trench
And I had the only gun.

Other popular songs included

Rose Of No Man’s Land (1918) – a tribute to Red Cross Nurses

Over There (1917) – US patriotic song by George M Cohan

The Tanks That Broke the Ranks Out in Picardy (1916) – song celebrating the new tanks on the Western Front

Till We Meet Again (1918) – #1 smash of WWI

Further Reading:
Music of World War One (with MP3s and lyrics)
Music as War Propaganda
Music from the Great War
English Songs Popular during the First World War
Soldiers’ Songs of the Great War
First World War songs (MP3s)
Tommy’s tunes: a comprehensive collection of soldiers’ songs, marching melodies, rude rhymes, and popular parodies – Google Books

From the website:
From January 18 to April 8, 2012, the Bard Graduate Center: Decorative Arts, Design History, Material Culture (BGC) presents Staging Fashion, 1880–1920: Jane Hading, Lily Elsie, Billie Burke in the Focus Gallery. The exhibition is curated by Michele Majer, BGC assistant professor and research associate at Cora Ginsburg LLC, in collaboration with several BGC graduate students.

Through printed ephemera, clothing, and accessories, the exhibition and the accompanying catalogue explore the roles played by actresses as internationally known and influential fashion leaders at the turn of the twentieth century. This aspect of popular culture, which emerged more than a hundred years ago, has a long and fascinating historical trajectory, which resonates today in a society that has become infatuated with celebrities—actresses, actors, and artists whose images are used for promotional purposes in all kinds of media and advertising.

Beginning in the late nineteenth century, actresses became key figures in the international cult of celebrity that flourished in the context of a nascent mass media and mass consumerism. Formerly ostracized as women of dubious morals, actresses were presented—and presented themselves—as role models for women across the social spectrum. Cheaply manufactured postcards that circulated by the millions and thousands of magazine and newspaper articles, as well as print advertisements, featured actresses as exemplars of fashion, youthful beauty, elegance, and respectable femininity. Staging Fashion examines the relationship between actresses, fashion, and celebrity culture through the study of these ephemera, which both created and were a manifestation of this phenomenon.

This exhibition focuses on Jane Hading (1859–1941), Lily Elsie (1886–1962), and Billie Burke (1884 –1970) as case studies through which one may investigate the actress as trendsetter and examine the objects that were instrumental in the creation of her public image and persona. As with many other stage women at the time, the fame and appeal of these actresses were by no means based solely—or even primarily—on their thespian talents. Rather they exemplify the significant factors that contributed to widespread success: a leading couturier (or couturiers) who dressed actresses in gowns that were integral to the creation of a glamorous image; a type of physical beauty that conformed to elite notions of class and race; a distinctive “personality” that was often conveyed by stage roles and further enhanced in photographic images and in the media; and frequent appearances on postcards and in fashion and theater magazines, newspapers, and other periodicals. Each of these three women illustrates the phenomenon of the actress as a marketable commodity who promoted and depended on the widespread distribution of her own image to create and maintain her celebrity, which in turn was used to market an array of products that exploited her appearance and encouraged a connection between the actress and the consumer.

The exhibition features more than 160 objects, including three garments on loan from the Museum of the City of New York and three “Merry Widow” hats from the Philadelphia Museum of Art, along with an extensive number of postcards and other ephemera from the collections of private lenders and the New York Public Library.

Highlights of the Exhibit